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爱女朋友六大守则
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28 | 2008-05-05 09:36:49
一、女朋友绝对不会有错。 二、如果发现女朋友有错，一定是我看错。 三、如果我没看错，一定是因我的错，才害女朋友犯错。 四、如果是女朋友自己的错，只要她不认错，那就是我的错。 五、如果女朋友不认错，我还坚持她有错，那就是我的错。 六、总之，女朋友绝对不会犯错，这句话一定不会有错。 请问您....爱女朋友的六大...
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春宵一刻值千全
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30 | 2008-05-05 09:35:40
某甲娶妻，大喜之日，贺客盈门，晚间闹房，诸客皆以新娘能诗，必欲一聆听。新娘害羞，不肯吟诗，众客人不散。适至夜阑更深，新娘无奈，只得轻咳一声，展开樱桃口，朗诵一绝句：“谢天谢地谢诸君，我本无才哪会吟？曾记唐人诗一句，‘春宵一刻值千金’。”众客轰然而散。(!!!comefro...
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骂死小日本的笑话
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37 | 2008-05-05 09:34:59
一天，一个自恃认得几个汉字的小鬼子，在大街上溜达饿了，就开始找饭馆。它到了一家小面馆门口，看见门口的水牌上写着的大字：牛肉面、大排面、便饭。 它想尝尝，就走了进去。 忙碌的服务生赶了过来，问：“先生，您吃碗什么面？” “我吃……”说着，小...
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经典的四大理由
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30 | 2008-05-05 09:33:58
妓女被抓不服讲出四大理由：一不偷，二不抢怀里抱着XX党；不融资不贷款自带设备求发展；不冒烟不污染你排污水我接管；不游行不上访，一张小床不下岗。(!!!comefrom:http://www.18xh.cn!!!)
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一千年没碰过女人
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27 | 2008-05-05 09:33:31
有一对夫妇一起在打高尔夫球，球场附近都是豪宅。 丈夫说：“你打球的时候还是小心一点，把人家的窗口打烂了，赔不起的。” 太太说：“知道了！知道了！别烦。” 一球飞去，就那么巧打破了人家的窗子。 丈夫大叫：“唉！现在我们只好去向人家道歉。” ...
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两人一起洗澡
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24 | 2008-05-05 09:33:02
一对夫妻，每日都忙着自己开设的超市生意，以致家中杂事无暇料理，因此，他们请来一名外籍女佣来帮忙。有一天，女佣低头扫地，突然假发掉落，经过女佣告实，夫妻才知道她不仅秃头，而且她全身都不会长毛，这引起丈夫的极大兴趣。丈夫突发奇想的要求妻子成全，能够设计让他一睹女佣全身精光无毛的模样，妻子经不起他的苦求，也就同意了。晚上，妻...
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四姐妹到寺庙去拜佛
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27 | 2008-05-05 09:32:44
话说有四姐妹规规矩矩排着队到寺庙去拜佛。老和尚说：阿弥陀佛！本庙女人不得入内！施主请便。四姐妹均着急地说：可我们都是诚心诚意来的呀！请师傅通融一下，好吗？老和尚沉吟了一会儿：除非你们都是处女，可以进来。你们都是处女吗？排在最前的四妹俏皮说：我只是看过一次男人的东西，算不算处女？老和尚微笑了一下：你用净水盆里的水洗洗眼睛...
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好色的演员
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20 | 2008-05-05 09:31:42
小陈是一个好色的演员，他可以为了一个女人，完全将舞台的事业置之不顾。导演阿信知道他重女癖的恶习，因此禁止他进入风月场所。某日小陈突然诚恳地对导演阿信发誓，绝不再沾女色，阿信也开心地为他安排下场戏剧的主角，让他演出。第二天小陈又钓上一名美女，不过他的运气实在差，刚出宾馆就遇上阿信。“早呀！导演！”...
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一个病危的老头
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19 | 2008-05-05 09:30:08
有一个老头病的很严重，这天他老伴问他：“吃饭吗？”老头摇摇头，老伴又问：“喝水不？”老头还是摇摇头，这时老伴问他：“做爱不？” 老头听了说：“扶我起来，我再试试！”(!!!comefrom:http://www.18xh....
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我怀孕了好找你
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20 | 2008-05-05 09:29:42
一司机在人多的窄街面上行车，前面一个小女子就是不让车，司机好不容易将其让过到车窗旁，打开窗户，将口水吐到了小女子的襟子上以视报复！小女子见状，连忙上前拉住司机的手笑着说道：“先生，请你留下姓名、地址和联系方式。”司机愤愤不解地道：“怎么了啊？”小女子说：“我怀...
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夫妻感情不合
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20 | 2008-05-05 09:29:06
有对夫妻感情不合，虽经婚姻问题顾问屡次调解，依然无效，只好宣告离婚。顾问建议他们平均分配家庭所存，以免产生纠纷。那位妻子不悦地问：“我那一万元私房钱，也得分他一半？”“当然”那我们三个孩子怎么平均分配呢？”那位妻子不服气地问。顾问无言可对，只好说：&ldquo...
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第一头上网的猪
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19 | 2008-05-05 09:28:07
女儿国国王：“唐僧哥哥，你就从了吧！”唐僧：“No！我乃得道高僧，岂能做这种勾当？”(偷咽了一大口口水)女儿国国王：“那你的几个徒弟呢？”唐僧：“这个嘛，只要他们愿意，贫僧绝不阻拦。”女儿国国王：&ldquo...
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lies to each other
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14 | 2008-05-03 07:54:52
Awomanisinbedwithherloverwhoalsohappenstobeherhusband'sbestfriend.Theyhadsexforhours,andafterwards,whilethey'rejustlayingthere,thephonerings.Sinceitisthewoman's...
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Do you always wear a condom when you run?
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14 | 2008-05-03 07:54:01
Marywashavinganaffairduringthedaywhileherhusbandwasatwork.Oneday,shewasinbedwithherboyfriendRalph,whensheheardherhusband'scarpullinthedriveway.SheyelledatRalph,...
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Is there anything else your wife doesn't use
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3 | 2008-05-03 07:53:36
Awifearrivedhomefromashoppingtripandwasshockedtofindherhusbandinbedwithalovelyyoungwoman.Justasshewasabouttostormoutofthehouse,herhusbandcalledout"Perhapsyousho...
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Oh, it's just a statue
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5 | 2008-05-03 07:53:09
Awomanwasinbedwithherloverwhensheheardherhusbandopeningthefrontdoor."Hurry!"shesaid,"standinthecorner."Shequicklyrubbedbabyoilalloverhimandthenshedustedhimwitht...
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stand back and watch the expression on his face
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4 | 2008-05-03 07:52:46
FATHER:"WhenyougobacktoyourMom'stonight,giveherthisenvelopeandtellherthatsinceyouarenow18,thisisthelastcheckshe'lleverseefrommeforchildsupport.Then,standbackand...
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It's not even out of the crate yet!
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4 | 2008-05-03 07:52:17
Amanisgoingtoworkonedayandaccidentallyslamshispenisinthecardoor.Hegoestothehospitalandthedoctorsays,"We'regoingtohavetoputasplintonthat."Theguysays,"Noway,Doc!I...
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I already wrote it out by hand
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3 | 2008-05-03 07:51:52
Ahusbandandwifewereveryconsiderateoftheirchildren,sotheyreferredtosexasthetypewriter.Oneday,thefathersaystohisdaughter,"GotellyourmotherI'dliketousehertypewrite...
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buy me a $200 bicycle for my birthday
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4 | 2008-05-03 07:51:21
OnedaylittleJohnnywenttohisfather,andaskedhimifhecouldbuyhima$200bicycleforhisbirthday.Johnny'sfathersaid,"Johnny,wehavea$80,000mortgageonthehouse,andyouwantmet...
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That's once
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4 | 2008-05-03 07:50:54
Afarmerandhisbrandnewbridewereridinghomefromthechapelinawagonpulledbyateamofhorses,whentheolderhorsestumbled.Thefarmersaid,"That'sonce!"Alittlefurtheralong,thep...
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You want that bridge two lanes or four?
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5 | 2008-05-03 07:50:23
AmanwaswalkingalongaCaliforniabeachandstumbledacrossanoldlamp.Hepickeditupandrubbeditandoutpoppedagenie.Thegeniesaid,"OK!Youreleasedmefromthelamp,blahblahblah.T...
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keep your nose clean and never screw up
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5 | 2008-05-03 07:49:51
Acouplewashavingproblemswiththeirsexlifesotheywenttoacounselor.Heaskedwhattheproblemwasandthewifesaid,"Myhusbandwon'tgodownonmenorwillheletmebeontop."Themarriag...
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I did. You're back at work on Monday
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4 | 2008-05-03 07:49:29
AftertheannualOfficePartyBlowout,Johnwokeupwithapoundingheadache,cotton-mouthed,andutterlyunabletorecalltheeventsoftheprecedingevening.Afteratriptothebathroom,h...
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I was just wetting my fingers
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2 | 2008-05-03 07:48:59
Atypicalmarriedcouplewerelyinginbedonenight.Thewifehadcurledupreadytogotosleepandthehusbandputhisbedlampontoreadabook.Ashewasreading,hepausedandreachedovertohis...
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I'm not out enjoying myself every night!
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2 | 2008-05-03 07:48:32
Anangrywifewascomplainingaboutherhusbandspendingallhisfreetimeinabar,soonenighthetookheralongwithhim."What'llyouhave?,"heasked."Oh,Idon'tknow.Thesameasyou,Isupp...
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Canonical List Of Elephant Jokes
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6 | 2008-05-03 07:47:20
[1]TherewasanoldmaninFrancewhousedtogetupeverymorningatfiveA.M.Hewouldthengoandsprinkleawhitepowderontheroads.Whenhewasaskedwhathewassprinklingontheroads,heansw...
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CIRCUMCISED
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1 | 2008-05-03 07:46:55
Twofive-year-oldboysarestandingatthepottytopee.Onesays,"Yourthingdoesn'thaveanyskinonit!""Well,I'vebeencircumcised,"answeredtheotherone."Huh,What'sthatmean?"ask...
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BETTER GRADES
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2 | 2008-05-03 07:45:44
littleboywasn'tgettinggoodmarksinschool.Onedayhemadetheteacherquitesurprised.Hetappedherontheshoulderandsaid..."Idon'twanttoscareyou,butmydaddysaysifIdon'tgetbe...
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法海绑架许仙的真实原因
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4 | 2008-05-03 07:44:43
白娘子接到法海绑架许仙的线报以后，当即帥水族众将士把金山寺围了起来。众水族将士群情激昂，摩拳擦掌，叫战声此起彼伏。 那法海自持法力无边，面对大敌压境依然神定气闲，面无惧色。 白娘子一身素衣，衣袂飘飘，用剑一指法海，厉声骂道：“臭和尚，胆子吃大了，竟敢绑架我的仙哥。作死吗？”法海微微一笑，凛然...
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