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两人一起洗澡
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65 | 2008-05-05 09:33:02
一对夫妻，每日都忙着自己开设的超市生意，以致家中杂事无暇料理，因此，他们请来一名外籍女佣来帮忙。有一天，女佣低头扫地，突然假发掉落，经过女佣告实，夫妻才知道她不仅秃头，而且她全身都不会长毛，这引起丈夫的极大兴趣。丈夫突发奇想的要求妻子成全，能够设计让他一睹女佣全身精光无毛的模样，妻子经不起他的苦求，也就同意了。晚上，妻...
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四姐妹到寺庙去拜佛
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56 | 2008-05-05 09:32:44
话说有四姐妹规规矩矩排着队到寺庙去拜佛。老和尚说：阿弥陀佛！本庙女人不得入内！施主请便。四姐妹均着急地说：可我们都是诚心诚意来的呀！请师傅通融一下，好吗？老和尚沉吟了一会儿：除非你们都是处女，可以进来。你们都是处女吗？排在最前的四妹俏皮说：我只是看过一次男人的东西，算不算处女？老和尚微笑了一下：你用净水盆里的水洗洗眼睛...
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一个病危的老头
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41 | 2008-05-05 09:30:08
有一个老头病的很严重，这天他老伴问他：“吃饭吗？”老头摇摇头，老伴又问：“喝水不？”老头还是摇摇头，这时老伴问他：“做爱不？” 老头听了说：“扶我起来，我再试试！”(!!!comefrom:http://www.18xh....
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我怀孕了好找你
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46 | 2008-05-05 09:29:42
一司机在人多的窄街面上行车，前面一个小女子就是不让车，司机好不容易将其让过到车窗旁，打开窗户，将口水吐到了小女子的襟子上以视报复！小女子见状，连忙上前拉住司机的手笑着说道：“先生，请你留下姓名、地址和联系方式。”司机愤愤不解地道：“怎么了啊？”小女子说：“我怀...
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夫妻感情不合
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37 | 2008-05-05 09:29:06
有对夫妻感情不合，虽经婚姻问题顾问屡次调解，依然无效，只好宣告离婚。顾问建议他们平均分配家庭所存，以免产生纠纷。那位妻子不悦地问：“我那一万元私房钱，也得分他一半？”“当然”那我们三个孩子怎么平均分配呢？”那位妻子不服气地问。顾问无言可对，只好说：&ldquo...
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第一头上网的猪
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38 | 2008-05-05 09:28:07
女儿国国王：“唐僧哥哥，你就从了吧！”唐僧：“No！我乃得道高僧，岂能做这种勾当？”(偷咽了一大口口水)女儿国国王：“那你的几个徒弟呢？”唐僧：“这个嘛，只要他们愿意，贫僧绝不阻拦。”女儿国国王：&ldquo...
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lies to each other
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31 | 2008-05-03 07:54:52
Awomanisinbedwithherloverwhoalsohappenstobeherhusband'sbestfriend.Theyhadsexforhours,andafterwards,whilethey'rejustlayingthere,thephonerings.Sinceitisthewoman's...
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Do you always wear a condom when you run?
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20 | 2008-05-03 07:54:01
Marywashavinganaffairduringthedaywhileherhusbandwasatwork.Oneday,shewasinbedwithherboyfriendRalph,whensheheardherhusband'scarpullinthedriveway.SheyelledatRalph,...
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Is there anything else your wife doesn't use
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9 | 2008-05-03 07:53:36
Awifearrivedhomefromashoppingtripandwasshockedtofindherhusbandinbedwithalovelyyoungwoman.Justasshewasabouttostormoutofthehouse,herhusbandcalledout"Perhapsyousho...
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Oh, it's just a statue
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11 | 2008-05-03 07:53:09
Awomanwasinbedwithherloverwhensheheardherhusbandopeningthefrontdoor."Hurry!"shesaid,"standinthecorner."Shequicklyrubbedbabyoilalloverhimandthenshedustedhimwitht...
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stand back and watch the expression on his face
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8 | 2008-05-03 07:52:46
FATHER:"WhenyougobacktoyourMom'stonight,giveherthisenvelopeandtellherthatsinceyouarenow18,thisisthelastcheckshe'lleverseefrommeforchildsupport.Then,standbackand...
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It's not even out of the crate yet!
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7 | 2008-05-03 07:52:17
Amanisgoingtoworkonedayandaccidentallyslamshispenisinthecardoor.Hegoestothehospitalandthedoctorsays,"We'regoingtohavetoputasplintonthat."Theguysays,"Noway,Doc!I...
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I already wrote it out by hand
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9 | 2008-05-03 07:51:52
Ahusbandandwifewereveryconsiderateoftheirchildren,sotheyreferredtosexasthetypewriter.Oneday,thefathersaystohisdaughter,"GotellyourmotherI'dliketousehertypewrite...
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buy me a $200 bicycle for my birthday
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9 | 2008-05-03 07:51:21
OnedaylittleJohnnywenttohisfather,andaskedhimifhecouldbuyhima$200bicycleforhisbirthday.Johnny'sfathersaid,"Johnny,wehavea$80,000mortgageonthehouse,andyouwantmet...
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That's once
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10 | 2008-05-03 07:50:54
Afarmerandhisbrandnewbridewereridinghomefromthechapelinawagonpulledbyateamofhorses,whentheolderhorsestumbled.Thefarmersaid,"That'sonce!"Alittlefurtheralong,thep...
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You want that bridge two lanes or four?
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9 | 2008-05-03 07:50:23
AmanwaswalkingalongaCaliforniabeachandstumbledacrossanoldlamp.Hepickeditupandrubbeditandoutpoppedagenie.Thegeniesaid,"OK!Youreleasedmefromthelamp,blahblahblah.T...
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keep your nose clean and never screw up
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9 | 2008-05-03 07:49:51
Acouplewashavingproblemswiththeirsexlifesotheywenttoacounselor.Heaskedwhattheproblemwasandthewifesaid,"Myhusbandwon'tgodownonmenorwillheletmebeontop."Themarriag...
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I did. You're back at work on Monday
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9 | 2008-05-03 07:49:29
AftertheannualOfficePartyBlowout,Johnwokeupwithapoundingheadache,cotton-mouthed,andutterlyunabletorecalltheeventsoftheprecedingevening.Afteratriptothebathroom,h...
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I was just wetting my fingers
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5 | 2008-05-03 07:48:59
Atypicalmarriedcouplewerelyinginbedonenight.Thewifehadcurledupreadytogotosleepandthehusbandputhisbedlampontoreadabook.Ashewasreading,hepausedandreachedovertohis...
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I'm not out enjoying myself every night!
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8 | 2008-05-03 07:48:32
Anangrywifewascomplainingaboutherhusbandspendingallhisfreetimeinabar,soonenighthetookheralongwithhim."What'llyouhave?,"heasked."Oh,Idon'tknow.Thesameasyou,Isupp...
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Canonical List Of Elephant Jokes
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10 | 2008-05-03 07:47:20
[1]TherewasanoldmaninFrancewhousedtogetupeverymorningatfiveA.M.Hewouldthengoandsprinkleawhitepowderontheroads.Whenhewasaskedwhathewassprinklingontheroads,heansw...
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CIRCUMCISED
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5 | 2008-05-03 07:46:55
Twofive-year-oldboysarestandingatthepottytopee.Onesays,"Yourthingdoesn'thaveanyskinonit!""Well,I'vebeencircumcised,"answeredtheotherone."Huh,What'sthatmean?"ask...
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BETTER GRADES
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6 | 2008-05-03 07:45:44
littleboywasn'tgettinggoodmarksinschool.Onedayhemadetheteacherquitesurprised.Hetappedherontheshoulderandsaid..."Idon'twanttoscareyou,butmydaddysaysifIdon'tgetbe...
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法海绑架许仙的真实原因
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15 | 2008-05-03 07:44:43
白娘子接到法海绑架许仙的线报以后，当即帥水族众将士把金山寺围了起来。众水族将士群情激昂，摩拳擦掌，叫战声此起彼伏。 那法海自持法力无边，面对大敌压境依然神定气闲，面无惧色。 白娘子一身素衣，衣袂飘飘，用剑一指法海，厉声骂道：“臭和尚，胆子吃大了，竟敢绑架我的仙哥。作死吗？”法海微微一笑，凛然...
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蜘蛛与广告
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7 | 2008-05-03 07:44:09
马克·吐温在美国的密苏里州办报时，有一次，一位读者在他的报纸中发现了一只蜘蛛，便写信询问马克·吐温，看是否是吉兆或凶兆。马克·吐温回信道——“亲爱的先生，您在报纸里发现一只蜘蛛，这既不是吉兆，也不是凶兆。这只蜘蛛只不过是想在报纸上看看哪家商人...
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周恩来总理机智幽默故事
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8 | 2008-05-03 07:43:33
1、1971年，基辛格博士为恢复中美外交关系秘密访华。在一次正式谈判尚未开始之前，基辛格突然向周恩来总理提出一个要求：“尊敬的总理阁下，贵国马王堆一号汉墓的发掘成果震惊世界，那具女尸确是世界上少有的珍宝啊！本人受我国科学界知名人士的委托，想用一种地球上没有的物质来换取一些女尸周围的木炭，不知贵国愿意否？&r...
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沁园春·央视
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7 | 2008-05-03 07:42:46
央视风光小崔装疯李咏发飚望新闻频道唯唯诺诺经济频道全是广告小丫出题朱军做客试把观众当傻冒须倪萍读群众来信只差号啕节目如此糟糕使无数观众逃之夭夭惜科教频道略输人气焦点访谈只敢打猫新闻联播资格最老只说好话把喜报俱往矣数风流人物还看老赵...(!!!comefrom:http://www.18xh.cn!!!)
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当ＭＭ手机的话费余额不足时
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11 | 2008-05-03 07:41:15
１．ＭＭ的部门领导：ＭＭ坚决不接，回去就说我的手机根本就没响，把未接电话删了，举着手机向领导发誓，并且皱着眉头，握着手机，嘴里念念有词：“这个破手机老犯毛病，要不是挣得太少，我早就换了！” ２．ＭＭ的男朋友：ＭＭ把电话挂断，然后发个短信给男朋友：“告诉你一个好消息，神州行用户不仅可...
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小姐买手机
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9 | 2008-05-03 07:40:50
一个手机专卖店的店员接到一个小姐打来的电话，‘请问你们有卖鲨鱼机吗？就是金城武广 告的那一只。’小姐问 店员：‘当然有’ 小姐：‘请问这只手机防不防水？’ 最近消费纠纷多，店员谨慎的回答：‘请问有多少水？是在甚么情形...
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最经典的句子
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11 | 2008-05-03 07:40:13
⒈我以为小鸟飞不过沧海，是以为小鸟没有飞过沧海的勇气，十年以后我才发现，不是小鸟飞不过去，而是沧海的那一头，早已没有了等待......⒉你走的那天，我决定不掉泪，迎着风撑着眼帘用力不眨眼'﹎⒊多谢你的绝情，让我学会死心....⒋带著一根烟.浪迹天涯....⒌木头对火说:"抱我"!火拥抱了木头`木头微笑着化为灰烬!火哭了...
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